We tend to spend a lot of time focused on our relationship with others. We focus on dating, friendships and family connections to help us feel whole.
After all, without people in our lives, what do we really have? And while it’s true that relationships with other people are important, we often neglect the most important relationship of all—the relationship with oneself.
Without a good relationship with yourself, it’s near impossible to have a healthy relationship with anyone else. As they say, you must take care of yourself first.
That’s what this relationship is all about. And if you feel like you’ve been neglecting your relationship with yourself, you’re not alone. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
It’s never too late to reconnect with yourself.
You can start today by practicing these 10 tips in creating a healthy relationship with yourself.
Evaluate your self-talk
Everyone has an inner narrative that plays on repeat. Whether you realize it or not, you talk to yourself. It may not be an audible monologue, but it’s there nonetheless.
Sometimes, this inner dialogue can be stronger than others. Sometimes, you don’t hear it at all, but it still controls your life.
The following are a few examples of negative self-talk that can get in the way of your life and relationship with yourself.
And if you think you’re immune, remember that sometimes, this type of talk only occurs in your subconscious.
- I’m not good enough
- I don’t belong
- I screw everything up
Dig deep to figure out which lies you may be telling yourself. The first step to overcoming them is to recognize that they’re there.
Use relaxation techniques
Stress is one of the worst things for your overall health, and it’s often self-imposed. It often comes as a result of our inner dialogue that runs amok. But just as we often cause stress by overemphasizing problems, we can also mitigate it.
Be kind to yourself by making an effort to reduce stress.
The simple act of breathing deeply can have an impact on your stress levels. When you’re feeling stressed, your pulse quickens and your mind races. With a few deep and deliberate breaths, you can slow these things down.
Check in with yourself
Especially when life is hectic, take a moment to check in with yourself. Your mental and emotional health is too important to leave to chance.
Set aside some time every now and again for some healthy self-reflection.
To be clear, this isn’t a time to beat yourself up. It’s a time to think about how your life has been going. And it may also be a good time to take a break and regroup, especially when you’re noticing the signs of anxiety creeping in.
Most of us are our own worst critics. We beat ourselves up over things that we would tell other people not to give a second thought to.
Try to recognize when you’re doing this and turn it around.
Let’s say you handled something poorly and have to deal with the consequences. You’d give almost anything for a redo. But we all know that’s not possible.
Instead, utter these powerful words, “So what?” This thing happened. If there’s nothing you can do about it, let it go and move on with your life. There’s no sense in dwelling on things that cannot be changed.
Create a support group
Everyone needs a little help every now and again. As loving and compassionate as you are with yourself, you’ll still need other people to lean on.
Surround yourself with people who lift your spirits. If anyone is detracting from your positivity, spend less time with them. Your time is too valuable to waste.
Limit screen time
What happens when you browse your Facebook newsfeed? How about when you turn on the news?
Eventually, you’re going to see something upsetting. You may not be able to go completely off the grid, but you can limit your exposure to the negativity by limiting your screen time.
Evaluate your life
Where are you today versus where you want to be?
If there’s a large gap, there’s a good chance you’re getting in your own way. If you can successfully shift your negative self-talk, things may start to turn around.
But can you identify any other obstacles in your path? Are you facing any demons you haven’t dealt with? Now is the time to face these things head on.
Eliminate bad habits
Some people mistakenly think that unwinding with a beer or glass of wine qualifies as self-care. Unfortunately, it’s quite the opposite.
If you’re in the habit of relying on drugs or alcohol to help you handle stress, it’s time to eliminate those crutches.
You can’t have a good relationship with yourself if you’re not fully present in your life.
Start an exercise routine
There’s a strong link between physical and mental health. So if you aren’t exercising currently, it’s time to get in the habit.
Shoot for 30 minutes daily of aerobic exercise. If you’re starting from a sedentary state, you can even take a brisk walk every day.
The important thing is to get moving.
Eat more greens
Part of taking care of yourself is getting the right nutrients into your body. And the best way to accomplish this is with green vegetables.
These are among the most nutrient-dense foods on the planet, so it’s the quickest path to good health. It’s always a good idea to get a variety of vegetables in your diet, but if you need to take baby steps, just add one serving of greens to your daily diet.
You’ll start feeling better over time and it’ll be easier to add more.
If you’re feeling like you’ve lost touch with who you really are as a person, try these 10 tips to reconnect with yourself.