Do you find yourself continually seeking other people’s approval and validation?
If yes, this is the time to do some soul-searching. You need to take your time and connect with yourself again. When you were a kid, you need your parents or elders’ approval in whatever you do. However, as you grew up, you are still chasing others’ validation – colleagues, classmates, buddies, lovers – to feel worthy, loved and to get attention. When your confidence depends on people’s compliments and approval, it will be a struggle for you to handle negative feedbacks and opinions given to you. To avoid it, here are 4 methods to stop caring on what others think of you according to Zen Philosophy.
Stop chasing it
Getting compliments surely can make you feel better. You will feel worthy and very valuable. But, being entirely reliant on others to experience self-worth is not healthy. When people stop giving you positive words, you will suddenly feel dejected, devalued. It will not help to boost your confidence, instead, turns you into a people pleaser. So stop doing it.
When someone acts wrongly towards you and hurts you, you’ll become angry. Rather than avenging negatively, it’s better to learn to react less. Don’t lower yourself and give away your power by being mean like that other individuals. Whatever they do or says cannot determine your value. Realize that and maintain your self-respect.
Being compassionate in life is very crucial. Every single human being (including you) has issues and dilemmas in life. Hence, you must know that they are not responsible for your happiness. So stop pressuring the people who exist in your life. It’s way better to be compassionate towards them and help them sort out their problems – if only they allow!
Nobody has the power to determine your self-worth and value. As mentioned above, you are the only one who can do that. Don’t expect others to be your cheerleaders. It’s your responsibility to give compliments, encouragement, and approval in life. It is your life anyway!