As adults, we no longer worry about the kind of immature high school drama we had as kids. Most of us grow to learn that it might be petty to fight about the little things. However, many adults still unknowingly do things that ultimately ruin what could have been a lifelong relationship. They then remain shocked, not knowing what could have caused their friend to drift away.
If you’ve had a falling out with someone recently and still can’t figure out why, here are 6 reasons you might be ruining worthwhile friendship.
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You sweep problems under the rug
If your friend and you have a minor disagreement at any point, it might be best for you to have an honest talk about how you feel. Tiny problems that seem petty on their own can add up when constantly swept under the rug. It’s normal for people to argue and disagree on things. But it does become an issue if those problems don’t get dealt with. A simple “I’m sorry” or “Are you okay” is often a major improvement from ignoring the issue altogether.
You get jealous
It might be hard for us to feel happy about someone’s success when we aren’t doing so well in our own lives. For example, if you’ve been single for the last five years, hearing about your friend’s new engagement might leave you experiencing a mild tinge of jealousy. While this is understandable, it does not make it alright. If your friend is happy about an exciting new change in their lives, be happy for them and encourage them. You want to share good memories with your friends and being a downer in their otherwise happy lives is only going to push them away.
You let your own feelings get in the way
If you’ve ever come across the type of person who’s bad mood seems to affect everyone in the room, you’ll understand this point. When you’re spending time with your friends, it’s important that you put your best self out there. Don’t use them as your emotional punching bag. Don’t take your anger out on them. If you’re having a bad day and think that it’s going to affect other people, it might be better you spend some time on your own.
You don’t prioritize meeting up
We often think that the best kind of friends are the kind that can maintain a close bond even without seeing each other all the time. However, this doesn’t mean that you don’t make an effort to meet up at all. It is important to physically meet up with your friends from time to time to remember why you like spending so much time with them in the first place.
You constantly cancel plans
Cancelling plans to meet up might be worse than not meeting up at all. Maybe one weekend you had an emergency work meeting. Maybe the next your significant other was sick. And maybe the next your parents were moving house. While you think you’re just busy, your friend is going to think that these just seem like lame excuses. This might lead to them thinking you just don’t care about them as much and will eventually push them away.
You let a new relationship get in the way
We all know what it’s like when we first start to fall in love. All of a sudden, your partner becomes the person you want to spend every waking moment with. All your free time is now devoted to getting to know them more and more. While you may be happy and having fun for now, you might not realize that all these dates are at the cost of time spent with other important people in your life. While it’s normal to prioritize some relationships over others, you must learn that any relationship you care about requires effort. Your friend is not going to be there for you if you aren’t for them.
Maintaining adult friendships is not always easy. A worthwhile friendship is one that you’ll have to put effort into if you want it to last. However, if you truly care about keeping your relationships healthy, you’ll find that the effort will eventually be worth it.