“Charisma is a sparkle in people that money can’t buy. It’s an invisible energy with visible effects.” -Marianne Williamson
If you’re an aspiring entrepreneur or rising leader, or simply anyone wishing to become more likeable, your charisma is a trait you should work on bettering. It’s never too late to work on it as there are practical ways you can start adopting on how to be more charismatic.
Charisma is all about the way you carry yourself and treat those around you. It has less to do with who you are as a person and more to do with how others perceive you.
If you’ve ever met someone you developed an intense liking for but couldn’t really explain why, it’s likely they had good charisma.
The good news is that being charismatic is a trait you can learn. Basically, anyone can make efforts to develop their charisma. But how would you go about doing that? Here are 13 actionable tips to start working on how to be more charismatic starting today.
1. Be present in conversations.
When having a conversation, whether one-on-one or in a group, make an effort to actively engage yourself in the situation. You should refrain from focusing on what you want to say and instead show people around you that you are listening.
This means paying attention to what people are expressing and responding to show you care.
2. Maintain eye contact.
When you’re the one speaking in a group, make an effort to look at each individual as you talk. If you’re talking to one person, the goal should be to make them feel like they’re the only person in the room.
When you look people in their eyes and maintain good eye contact, people feel your confidence and will have a more pleasant experience speaking to you.
3. Don’t be negative.
A good way to be more likable is to stay away from negativity. No one wants to be around the bearer of bad news or the guy who complains about everything.
Positive conversations remind others that being around you means they’re in for a positive experience. Even if they’re the ones being negative, it helps to divert the conversation to a more positive note.
This helps makes people feel better when they’re around you.
4. Genuinely compliment people.
Most people, yourself being included, have the desire to be acknowledged. Whether it’s on their work, their looks or their personalities. It makes us feel better about ourselves and helps to brighten our day.
When you compliment someone, you stand out to them. They associate feel-good feelings with you and will want to spend more time around you.
To do this, pay attention to the people around you. When you see an opportunity, give them a compliment.
However, make sure it’s a sincere one. People can sense when you aren’t being genuine and this can hurt your charisma.
5. Smile authentically.
Practice what it’s like to smile authentically. This means having a smile that shows warmth. When you smile, people should be able to see it in your eyes and not just in your mouth.
Humans are very skilled in understanding emotion and will pick up on it immediately when you fake it.
When you smile more, you are automatically deemed to be more approachable and will attract those around them.
6. “Clothes maketh a man”
This is the exact equivalent of dressing for success. Whether you like it or not, your appearance matters. What you wear becomes part of your image and how you want others to perceive you as.
Even studies show that what you wear indirectly affects the level of your confidence. So, the next time you’ll want others to feel good around you, be sure to dress up.
Not only just for important occasions, but even on casual days.
7. Give more than you receive…
…even at the expense of possibly not have anything in return.
The one thing that I noticed people with authentic charisma have is that they are always enriching, helping and inspiring others.
Learning to provide builds trust and real connection. When you selflessly give in, every attention that you bound to deliver only shows that they matter.
Just as how Mahatma Gandhi puts it, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.
8. Listen more than you talk.
Charisma is never all just about being a good speaker.
What impresses me more in this fast-paced world today, are actually people with the ability to listen intently and not interrupt others before given the opportunity.
Everyone wants to be heard and acknowledged, even if there is nothing important to say.
Listen closely and really mean so. By listening, you put other’s first and it shows that you value their time and care about things that they share.
Speak only when asked. When you do, be sure your thoughts are about them and not all you.
9. Choose your words carefully.
The way you string your words talks a lot about your attitude.
Negative words not only affect you, it influences others as well. We all want to be surrounded by optimistic people and having charisma is allowing others to feel better about themselves when they are around you.
An example of a positive phrase and attitude that can have an impact:
Instead of, you don’t have to go to the gathering; you get to meet up and be acquainted with other people. Who knows, it could be the start to something amazing.
10. Have an interest for others.
The thing about being around a charismatic person is that you can’t help it but be drawn into them.
The way they radiate makes you feel magnetized. The way on how to be more charismatic I’ve learnt is that they have great, pure interest in others.
For charisma to exudes, you become by being enthusiasts with what others find value and am passionate about.
You take great interest in listening to others, asking questions that draws the conversation more in depth, bringing the interaction between you and others into a more exclusive state.
“Charisma is not just saying hello. It’s dropping what you’re doing to say hello.”
11. Don’t talk about people…
…especially on their short-coming and failures.
We all like to hear a little gossip. That’s a given.
Despite that fact, no one has ever made himself great by showing how small someone else is.
Having charisma is about setting an example for others as well. Show others respect even if they are not around or have wronged you – not because you don’t mind, but because you know very well, respect is earned by the actions you take.
12. Admitting mistakes.
Successful people are deemed to have more charisma. However, the most successful, charismatic people that I know about are also the humblest.
They own up to their mistakes and are not afraid to admit. Successful people understand that succeeding is merely the result of time, dedication and sacrifice.
People with charisma are kind to themselves. They know mistakes are inevitable and are part of the growing process.
What’s most important are the lessons learnt. They genuinely strive to become better every day.
13. Constantly learning something new.
Charismatic people tend to be able to just fit in. Not only do they show an interest in others, they always have something interesting to share about when given the opportunity.
Having charisma is about learning new things and keeping yourself in tune with what’s happening in the world.
You can’t really make an excellent conversationalist if you don’t already know what’s going on.
Strive to learn something new every day. Be a life-long student.
“Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching.”
These small changes can have a big impact on how you come across to those around you. With just a little effort, you’ll be on your way to becoming a much more likeable and charismatic person.