It’s not easy to get over pain, betrayal, lies, mistreatment, or abuse but at some point, you have to deal with it for your own good. Here’s how to love yourself enough to forgive and let go:
1) Decide that you will not suffer anymore
Let it all out. Cry if you need to. Take a long hot bath. Talk to a close friend. Then pick yourself up and remind yourself that you are strong enough to get through this. You know you are better than this. Look at what all the anger has done to you and ask yourself if you want to heal. Make a commitment to forgive.
It is not about forgetting or moving on, but giving yourself the power to choose not to punish yourself or the person who hurt you. It’s not easy but you need to value yourself more and stop wasting your energy on people who don’t deserve it. Tell yourself that you are ready to give forgiveness a shot because you no longer want to drown in anger or pain.
2) You are responsible for your emotions and actions
Maybe you didn’t deserve the way someone treated you. Maybe it wasn’t your fault. But you are the only one who can control your emotions and how you react. The more you dwell on the pain, the more helpless or angry you will feel. Getting back at the person who hurt you will only make you feel better for a short period of time. It’s fine to share how you feel but trying to make them feel bad or guilty will not change the fact that it happened.
Instead of playing the victim or holding on to your anger, try to move on gracefully and be the bigger person. You are responsible for your happiness and that means forgiveness is your responsibility too.
3) Take some time to reflect
Maybe you didn’t deserve being mistreated but you can still try to see the other person as another imperfect human being. Maybe there’s a reason why they did what they did. Choose compassion over bitterness. Just know that once you get through the pain, you will realise that you are a stronger person and that it is possible to be happy again.
Don’t let the actions of others make you depressed. It’s not worth it. Always remember that this is temporary and it is just a part of life. People will hurt you no matter how nice or good you are. Just understand that you can choose to rise above it and you will heal if you really want to. Forgiveness is not just a powerful tool. It is necessary for your own peace of mind.