While good relationships make you feel comfortable, secure and safe, a toxic relationship can make you feel hopeless, drained and insecure. And so, leaving a toxic relationship seems to be the healthiest choice you could make.
But how can you be sure that your relationship is toxic? How can you be sure that after all this time spent together, leaving a bad relationship is what you must do?
No relationship and human are perfect, they all have their flaws. But it is the way you react and cope with difficult situations that can transform a relationship into a toxic one. Toxic relationships are present not only on personal levels but also on professional ones.28 Toxic Signs To Look Out For To Confirm Leaving A Toxic Relationship Click To Tweet
Here are toxic signs you need to observe or look for in your relationship. They will confirm if leaving a bad relationship is the key to your happiness and contentment.
28 Toxic Signs To Look Out For To Confirm Leaving A Toxic Relationship
- There Is Always Something Wrong With You
- They Lower Your Self-Esteem
- Imbalance Of Power
- You Have An Over-controlling Partner
- Excessive Jealousy
- You Are Not Taking Care Of Yourself
- You Feel Insecure
- Your Partner Does Not Take Responsibility
- You Keep Waiting For Your Partner To Change
- You Have a Partner Who Is Stonewalling You
- Your Partner Is Making Fun Of Your Flaws
- You Feel The Need To Always Agree
- You Feel Worse When You Are with Your Partner
- Your Partner Takes Advantage of You
- Your Partner Does Not Bring the Best in You
- You Feel Like You Do All the Work
- You Are Looking for Excuses for Their Behavior
- Your Partner Is Overly Competitive
- Self-Growth Is A Myth
- Never-Ending Bumpy Periods
- Your Partner Is Keeping Count Of Your Wrongdoings
- Lack Of Responsibility
- Your Partner Is Not Reliable
- Your Partner Is Avoiding You
- Feelings Of Entrapment
- Your Partner Is Not Honest
- You Are Unhappy
- Leaving A Toxic Relationship
This is a toxic sign for sure. Yes, we are humans and we are not perfect. Everyone is prone to making mistakes and they should not be seen as something tragic, but experiences that teach you a lesson.
However, some couple of partners make the relationship toxic.
They offer unsolicited feedback and constant suggestions on what you need to improve. They criticize your actions and leave the impression that nothing you do is good.
All these critics have the power of making you feel unappreciated and worthless. If you feel that no matter what you do, it will not be okay, then this is a toxic sign.
Take care of yourself and surround yourself with people that love and trust you.
This toxic sign goes hand in hand with the one above.
No matter what you do, it just won’t be good. No matter what dress you choose for that business dinner or what movie tickets you buy, you cannot make your partner say something nice and good about your actions.
All these constant critics make you trust yourself less, make you think that you are worthless and they lower your self-esteem.
If you do not know how to evaluate your partner’s statements, here are some examples of toxic ones. Think about a business dinner you both have to attend as a couple and about the moments of preparation for it.
If your partner says things like “I do not like that dress”, “Don’t you see how your hair looks? Cut it” or “Why are you using so much make-up? It makes you uglier”, things are pretty clear.
Your partner is being mean and this makes you lower your self-esteem. If you feel as if your self-esteem is being jeopardized and that you are constantly finding ways on how to boost your confidence back, check out these effective confidence building activities to regain them back.
Leaving a bad relationship might be hard, but it is the right choice, even if healing from a toxic relationship might take some time.
The healthiest relationships are balanced.
There is a balance of power, a balance of tasks and responsibilities. Of course, you cannot attain this balance after the first week of a relationship, but it is a thing that is developed gradually by both partners.
However, toxic relationships are characterized by power imbalances.
Think about who makes the decisions in your relationship. How do you decide on the next relationship steps? Is this happening through an open discussion with your partner or he or she is deciding everything?
Is he or she taking into account your opinion? Try to answer these questions honestly.
If it turns out that you do not have any power in your relationship, then for sure it is toxic and abusing one.
There are relationships where partners understand each other’s needs and respect them.
Everyone needs to spend time with themselves. But there are toxic relationships, where one of the partners tries to control the other.
The partner who is controlled cannot do something without the other to know and even be present.
Shortly said, you do not have time for yourself and you cannot do something by yourself because your partner is over-controlling you.
Over-control goes hand in hand with jealousy.
Most people see jealousy as a sign of love, but it is not. It is rather a sign that your partner can turn your relationship into a toxic one. Jealousy arises from feelings of fear and insecurities.
Excessive jealousy prevents you from enjoying everything and it has the power to suffocate you.
A healthy and happy relationship should be described by trust, support, and love.
A toxic relationship is described by a lot of time invested in the relationship, but none for your self-care.
A toxic relationship is when your partner is demanding and when you have no time for yourself. For example, your partner can be needy and demands to spend a lot of time with him or her.
A toxic relationship is when you drop your activities in favor of his or her schedule constantly.
Taking care of yourself is essential because it helps you keep the toxicity of a relationship out of it. Getting over a toxic relationship can be difficult, but it is the best choice you can make.
7. You Feel Insecure
All these toxic behaviors of your partner can make you feel insecure, worthless and with low self-esteem.
Seeing that the one you love is treating you like you do not deserve something good can drain you emotionally. It can make you feel insecure and that everything you say or do will not satisfy him or her. It can make you feel that you do not deserve anything better and you fear that you will not find someone that will respect you.
Well, if your partner is making you have this kind of thought, it is time to get out of a toxic relationship.
There are fights even in healthy relationships, but it is the way partners react to each other’s arguments that contribute to a toxic relationship or not.
In a healthy relationship, every partner is open to discuss details that can be bothering. Every partner is open to receive and give feedback. None of the partners feels attacked, mocked or blamed.
A toxic relationship is described by partners that do not take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they blame their partners for everything, even if you were not a part of it.
Healing from a toxic relationship can be difficult. But waiting for someone to change can be even more difficult. Yes, you put a lot of hope, love, and trust in this relationship but some things are not made to be.
Becoming aware of this and acknowledging it can help you with the process of getting over a toxic relationship.
A toxic relationship is made toxic not only by the partner who has toxic behaviors but also by the other partner who lives with the hope that things will change someday.
There are sensitive subjects we all have a hard time openly discussing. But a healthy relationship is built upon open and effective communication. It is built on love, trust, and appreciation.
Stonewalling is a behavior lots of partners adopt in a relationship.
It means that they are not open to discussing what bothers you, they do not listen to you and start ignoring what you say.
There are lots of partners that do this. And while sometimes the moment is so difficult and challenging that you better wait for things to calm down, some partners stonewall their partners regularly. And this is a clear sign of a toxic relationship.
If your partner is laughing at your flaws and sensitivities, he or she is a toxic partner. A healthy relationship should be built on love, trust, and acceptance.
If your partner is calling you names, insulting you or making mean jokes, it means that you do not get any appreciation from his or her part.
Sometimes, the toxic behavior of your partner is not as obvious. But it is your behavior towards your partner that tells something about him.
If you constantly feel the need to agree or disagree (depending on his point of view) with his opinions, then it means that something is not right.
Ask yourself some questions that should make the situation clearer: “Why do I feel the need to agree with him, even if it does not reflect my thoughts?” or “What would happen if I state my opinion, that is different from his?”.
Your partner should be one of your primary sources of comfort, security, and love. If you do not feel this way, just ask yourself “Why?”.
It may be their toxic behavior, that always makes you feel worthless and unappreciated. It may be their jealousy and the constant checks on you that make you feel rather watched than protected.
The relationships where one of the partners takes advantage of the other are common. It can be financial, mental or sexual and it can make drain you.
If you notice that your partner is constantly asking for money and you feel that he or she is using you to satisfy their needs (sexual and emotional), then it is time for a change.
Getting over a toxic relationship can seem difficult, but you will start to feel better after you are not taken advantage of anymore.
A healthy relationship is characterized by partners that lift and help each other. It is characterized by encouragement and support.
If you feel that your partner makes only negative emotions arise, then it means that something is wrong. If you are the opposite of your real you in your partner’s presence, it means that his behavior is more damaging than you think.
It is normal that work and responsibilities to be divided between partners in a relationship. Maybe you always buy movie tickets, while your partner is always booking plane tickets for a new vacation.
However, it is the case of some toxic relationships where one of the partners is doing all the hard labor, and the other is not even noticing this.
Yes, we indeed need to be understanding with our partners. We all have different perspectives on our lives and this is what makes us so unique.
But if you find yourself in a situation when you are always looking for excuses, even if you know deep down that your partner does not have any excuse, it is a sign of a toxic relationship. Keep in mind that it is not only about his behavior, but yours also.
Competitiveness is not a bad thing at all. But being overly competitive with your partner can seriously transform the relationship into a toxic one.
A healthy relationship is described by trust and support in attaining one’s goals. A toxic relationship is described by one partner feeling ashamed, guilty and insecure about his wins.
Well, partners should support and help each other bloom and grow. Your partner should support you with moving forward and acquiring new skills or accomplishing your goals.
But in some cases, partners rather drag you down and your self-growth stagnates. If you feel that there is nothing good about your relationship, maybe you should think about moving forward on your own.
Every healthy relationship has bumpy periods too, and this is completely normal. But often a toxic relationship is described by never-ending quarrels and disagreements. And if this is your case, you should consider breaking up. Healing from a toxic relationship is not easy, but it is the best thing you could do for you.
Every time you have quarrels, your partner keeps reminding you of every wrongdoing from your past. If this is your case and you feel that you are not listened to in your relationship, then maybe it is a sign that your partner has toxic behaviors.
Besides the labor you both have to do, your partner can always find someone else who is responsible for his lack of happiness, for his mistakes, for his wrongdoings. It might be you, or it might be someone else. And even if in some cases it is not your partner’s fault, if he keeps not taking responsibility for his mistakes, there might be a problem.
There are tasks and events you need to attend as a couple. Some examples could be weddings, cocktail receptions or baptism. It is completely understandable when one of the partners cannot attend one of these events, but if your partner does this regularly, then it might be a problem. Your partner is not reliable and supportive.
Well, this pretty much speaks up for itself. A relationship is a communion of two people that have common aspirations and goals. If your partner is avoiding you, then the signs are as clear as they can be.
You should be in a relationship where you find support, love, and trust. Ask yourself questions like: “Am I in this relationship because I want it?” and “Am I in this relationship because I do not see any way out?”.
Well, one of the main pillars that make a relationship healthy is honesty. If you lie to each other, you will not get to know yourselves better and the relationship will be a lie. If you find out that your partner is hiding something from you, you should ask yourself why.
We cannot be happy in all domains from our lives, but nor should we fall prey to an unhappy relationship. Your partner should be your source of comfort and security and if he makes you unhappy, maybe he isn’t the right one for you.
Leaving a toxic relationship can be difficult and challenging, especially if your partner is abusive. But you need to find the courage and determination to get over and heal from a toxic relationship.
You need to find someone that makes you happy, that supports and encourages you. Someone you are looking forward to seeing after a hard day at the office. Everyone has the right to be treated correctly and appreciated, so do not remain entrapped in a toxic relationship.