You know you like yourself enough, but somehow you still find it difficult to be confident in all areas of life. You give more than you receive. People tend to take advantage of you. You always end up feeling hurt or unappreciated and the cycle repeats itself no matter how much you love yourself.
If you often wonder what you did wrong, you need to understand the pattern and master the 3 layers of confidence in order to break away from similar situations. Here’s why self-assurance is not enough if you want to be confident in life:
1) The surface is not enough
What you project or what other people see in you is not enough. The way you communicate with people is not enough. Throwing the ball right back at the court when someone mistreats you is not enough. Calling people out on their bad behaviours is not enough. Highlighting your values is not enough. The surface is nowhere near enough and you will crumble if you don’t have anything else supporting it.
2) A well-balanced life is crucial
Your lifestyle plays a major role in building self-confidence and having a healthy balance is the key to happiness. You need to keep doing all the things that give you confidence no matter what life throws at you and never give them up for anyone or anything. Don’t make your job the main priority because you will have nothing left if you lose it. You have to balance it out and work on the other areas of your life at the same time.
Focus on the things that you love once in a while. Write. Hike. Draw. Whatever your interests, stick to them because they will not only make you confident, but a more well-rounded person too. Hobbies aside, it’s also important for you to hold on to your family and friends. Make time for them because they’re the ones who will share your success and support you when life gets tough.
3) The core lies within you
It’s what should still remain even when everything else falls apart. It’s what’s great about you that no one else can take away. It’s your assets, your skills, your experience. It’s who you are. At the end of the day, you need to believe that you have value to give and if people can’t see that, it’s their loss. Not yours. You can lose your job, the love of your life, or your house, but nothing should destroy your identity.