99 Funny Shrek Quotes To Channel Out Your Inner Ogre And Humor

We have all watched lots of animated movies, but to date, Shrek stands out, particularly because he delivered some really hilarious lines. We have created a list of Shrek quotes that will not only entertain you but will inspire you to find happiness within. But before we go into that, let’s refresh our minds on who Shrek was.

Shrek is an ogre but his formidable appearance makes him sillier than terrifying. His character thrilled audiences of all ages. The film was released in 2001 and it was an instant hit. Mike Meyers played the lead character as the voice of Shrek. He turned the ogre into a deep, friendly, and lovable dude.

He delivered some hilarious lines that made the audience fall head over heels in love with Shrek. Below are some of Shrek quotes that will channel out your inner ogre and humor. 

99 Funny Shrek Quotes To Channel Out Your Inner Ogre And Humor Click To Tweet

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 Action plan on how to use your favorite quotes effectively

Don’t just read through the quotes and not apply them. Here are action plans on how you can take advantage of your favorite quotes effectively as a great reminder and inspiration for your daily empowerment.

1. Print it – Print your favorite quote onto paper and stick them up at obvious places around your house, like your bed frame, desk, dressing mirror, refrigerator or microwave.
2. Desktop or mobile wallpaper – Type or work out a simple design (use Canva.com to make designing effortless) for your desktop or mobile wallpaper. Change it from time to time for empowering variations.
3. Workplace / worktop – Frame your favorite quote up and place them so by your desk. Not only do you get inspired after each read, your colleagues might too.
4. Pocket-size cut outs – Compile a list of your favorite quotes in wallet-size fittings. Keep them in your wallet or at the back of your pocket wherever you go. That way, you get to read through them conveniently wherever you go.
5. Accelerate further – To this day, I am still constantly learning through paid educational platforms to improve my personal development and professional growth. Even though nowadays, multiple resources can be freely found online, but it’ll take a tremendous amount of effort and time to find what works. I know so and have been joining a premium, life-changing learning program called Mindvalley. It connects me to the world’s best teachers and community and I’ve been on their program since 2019. So yes, I know the programs taught inside work.

99 Funny Shrek Quotes To Channel Out Your Inner Ogre And Humor

1. “Little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I?” – Shrek

2. “Like that’s ever gonna happen. What a load of…” – Shrek

3. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkeyfly! – Shrek

4. “You go in there and tell her how you feel.” – Shrek

5. “Well, I have to save my ass.” – Shrek

6. “Oh, would you look at that.” – Shrek

7. “Yeah, right before they burst into flame.” – Shrek

8. “Donkey, two things okay? Shut… up.” – Shrek

9. “That’ll do, Donkey. That’ll do.” – Shrek

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More Donkey Shrek quotes to read 

10. “[going to save Donkey] Well, I have to save my ass.” – Shrek

11. Wow! Only a TRUE friend would be that cruelly honest. – Shrek

12. “Thank you, thank you very much. I’m here ’til Thursday. Try the veal.” – Shrek

13. “Well, that’s not very nice.” – Shrek

14. “All right, you’re going the right way for a smack bottom.” – Shrek

15. “WHY are you following me?” – Shrek

16. “Well, I have a bit of a confession to make: donkey’s don’t have layers. We were our fear right there on our sleeves.” – Shrek

17. “You didn’t slay the dragon?” – Princess Fiona “It’s on my “to do” list. Now come on.” –  Shrek

18. “We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles!” – Shrek

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Famous Shrek quotes to remember

19. “I’m not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others?!” – Lord Farquaad

20. “So where is this fire-breathin’ pain in the neck, anyway?” – Donkey 

21. “In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her.” – Shrek

22. “That’s right fool! Now I’m a flying talking donkey!” – Shrek

23. “Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.” – Shrek

24. “The Princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.” – Shrek

25. What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.” – Princess Fiona

26. “Parfaits may probably be the most delicious thing on the whole dang planet!” – Shrek

27. “Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean white sparkly teeth, I know you probably hear this all the time from your food but you must bleach or something, ’cause that’s one dazzling smile you got there and do I detect a hint of minty freshness?” – Donkey

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Funny Shrek quotes to laugh over at

28. “Now hand over that big rock, the one that looks like your head.” – Shrek

29. “NO! LAYERS! Onions have layers. OGRES have layers. Onions have layers… you get it. We both have layers.” – Shrek

30. “Look at that. Who’d wanna live in a place like that?” – Shrek

31. “Okay, let me get this straight: you gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad’ll give you back your swamp, which you only don’t have ‘cos he filled it full of freaks in the first place, is that about right?” – Donkey
32. “Yes, I know the muffin man. Who lives on Drury Lane?” – Lord Farquaad
33. “Sure it’s big enough… but look at the location.” – Shrek
34. “It is lovely! You know, you’re really quite a decorator.” – Shrek
35. “Don’t mess wit’ me. I’m the Stair Master. I’ve Mastered the Stairs. I wish I had a step right here, I could step here and here and here and step all over it.” – Donkey
36. “Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?” – Donkey

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Pinocchio shrek quotes from the movie

37. I’m not a puppet! I’m a real boy! – Pinocchio
38.  “C’mon, princess, you’re not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you’re only like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7.” – Donkey
39. “I used to be afraid of the dark until… No, wait. I’m still afraid of the dark.” – Donkey
40. “Eat me.” – Gingerbread Man
41. “I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something ’cause that’s one dazzling smile you got there!” – Donkey
42. “I don’t have any toes! I think I need a hug” – Donkey
43. “What kind of a knight are you?” – Princess Fiona “One of a kind.” – Shrek
44. “Some of you may die, but its a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” – Lord Farquaad
45. “I ain’t gonna lie, you ARE ugly. But you only look like this at night, Shrek’s ugly 24/7.” – Donkey

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Inspirational shrek quotes to think about

46. “I just know, before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin’.” – Donkey
47. “Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?” – Shrek
48. “Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.” – Magic Mirror
49. “He hooffed unt he poooffed unt he… signed an eviction notice.” – Little Pig
50. “Y’know, me too. That’s another thing we have in common. I hate it when you’ve got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won’t leave, and then there’s that big awkward silence…” – Donkey
51. “Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you, unless of course I can’t find you, or if I forget.” – the movie Shrek 2
52. “For your information, there’s a lot more to ogres than people think.” – Shrek
53. “Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.” – Captain of Guards
54.  “Yeah, right, brimstone, don’t be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelt and it wasn’t no brimstone and it didn’t come off no stone neither.” – Donkey

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Best Shrek quotes from the movies

55. “Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead. That’s brimstone… we must be getting close.” – Shrek
56. “Don’t mess with me. I’m the stair master.” – Donkey
57. And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man there were some strong gases eeking outta my butt that day.” – Donkey
58. “Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.” – Donkey
59. “Ogres are like onions.” – Shrek
60.  “Wow, that was really scary and if you don’t mind me saying, if that don’t work, your breath will certainly get the job done, ’cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something ’cause your breath STINKS.” – Donkey
61. “Wow. Let’s do that again.” – Donkey
62. “No! I’m an ogre! You know, “Grab your torch and pitchforks!” Doesn’t that bother you?” – Shrek
63. “Because that’s what friends do, they FORGIVE EACH OTHER.” – Donkey
64. “Well it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.” – Shrek
65. “Please. I don’t wanna go back there. You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak… Well, maybe you do, but that’s why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!” – Donkey
66. “And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin’ outta my butt that day!” – Donkey
67. “You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a super fly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly.” – Donkey
68. “Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?” – Shrek
69. “Donkey, two things, okay? Shut..up.” – Shrek
70. “Hey! I’m no one’s messenger boy, all right? I’m a delivery boy.” – Shrek
71. “Good morning. Um– how do you like your eggs?” – Princess Fiona
72. “Well– When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there’s a– There’s an arrow in your butt!” – Princess Fiona
73.  “I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.” – Donkey
74. “This is the part where you run away.” – Shrek
75. “You, uh… you don’t entertain much, do you?” – Shrek
76.  “Can I stay with you? Please?” – Donkey
77. “I like my privacy.” – Shrek
78. “Oh! Oh pick me! Pick me! Me! Me! Meeee!” – Donkey
79.  “She called me a noble steed.” – Donkey
80. “[To Dragon] What’s the matter? You got somethin’ in your eye?” – Donkey
81. “I bet you have never seen a donkey fly!” – Donkey
82.  “looks at Farquaad’s very large castle) Gee, you think he’s compensating for something?” – Shrek
83. “Bachelorette number two is Snow White. She may live with seven men but she ain’t easy.” – Princess Fiona
84.  “You know Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear.” – Shrek
85. “sometimes, things are more than they appear.” – Shrek
86. “Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really something back there. Incredible!” – Donkey
87. “Now, why don’t you go to celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? – Shrek
88. “Uh-uh. You know, with you it’s always, “Me, me, me!” Wll, guess that! Now it’s my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You’re mean to me. You insult me and you don’t appreciate anything.” – Donkey
89. “Oh yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?” – Shrek
90. “Because that’s what friends do! They forgive each other!” – Donkey
91.  Oh yeah, you’re right, Donkey. I forgive you… For stabbing me in the back!” – Shrek
92. “oh this is another one of does onion things isn’t” – Donkey
93. “no this is one of does drop it and leave it alone things.” – Shrek
94. “Sure it’s big enough, but look at the location.” – Shrek
95. “Wow, only a true friend would be that truly honest.” – Shrek
96. You know what? Maybe there’s a good reason, donkeys shouldn’t talk.” 
97. Things just seem bad because it’s dark and rainy and Fiona’s father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.” 
98. Welcome to my serenity circle. Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.” 
99. “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” – Donkey

Which of these Shrek quotes are your favorite?

Have you watched any of the Shrek films? Which of the Shrek quotes can you identify? Share with us in the comment section. You should try and watch any of the films if you haven’t and be on the lookout for any of these quotes. Currently, there are four Shrek movies and the fifth one will be released soon.