99 Funny Shrek Quotes To Channel Out Your Inner Ogre And Humor


We have all watched lots of animated movies, but to date, Shrek stands out, particularly because he delivered some really hilarious lines. We have created a list of Shrek quotes that will not only entertain you but will inspire you to find happiness within. But before we go into that, let’s refresh our minds on who Shrek was.

Shrek is an ogre but his formidable appearance makes him sillier than terrifying. His character thrilled audiences of all ages. The film was released in 2001 and it was an instant hit. Mike Meyers played the lead character as the voice of Shrek. He turned the ogre into a deep, friendly, and lovable dude.

He delivered some hilarious lines that made the audience fall head over heels in love with Shrek. Below are some of Shrek quotes that will channel out your inner ogre and humor. 

99 Funny Shrek Quotes To Channel Out Your Inner Ogre And Humor Click To Tweet

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 Action plan on how to use your favorite quotes effectively

Don’t just read through the quotes and not apply them. Here are action plans on how you can take advantage of your favorite quotes effectively as a great reminder and inspiration for your daily empowerment.

  1. Print it – Print your favorite quote onto paper and stick them up at obvious places around your house, like your bed frame, desk, dressing mirror, refrigerator or microwave.
  2. Desktop or mobile wallpaper – Type or work out a simple design (use Canva.com to make designing effortless) for your desktop or mobile wallpaper. Change it from time to time for empowering variations.
  3. Workplace / worktop – Frame your favorite quote up and place them so by your desk. Not only do you get inspired after each read, your colleagues might too.
  4. Pocket-size cut outs – Compile a list of your favorite quotes in wallet-size fittings. Keep them in your wallet or at the back of your pocket wherever you go. That way, you get to read through them conveniently wherever you go.
  5. Accelerate further – To this day, I am still constantly learning through paid educational platforms to improve my personal development and professional growth. Even though nowadays, multiple resources can be freely found online, but it’ll take a tremendous amount of effort and time to find what works. I know so and have been joining a premium, life-changing learning program called Mindvalley. It connects me to the world’s best teachers and community and I’ve been on their program since 2019. So yes, I know the programs taught inside work.

99 Funny Shrek Quotes To Channel Out Your Inner Ogre And Humor

  1. “Little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I?” – Shrek
donkey shrek quotes
  1. “Like that’s ever gonna happen. What a load of…” – Shrek
  1. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkeyfly! – Shrek
funny shrek quotes
  1. “You go in there and tell her how you feel.” – Shrek
love shrek quotes
  1. “Well, I have to save my ass.” – Shrek
humor shrek quotes
  1. “Oh, would you look at that.” – Shrek
best shrek quotes and sayings
  1. “Yeah, right before they burst into flame.” – Shrek
more shrek quotes
  1. “Donkey, two things okay? Shut… up.” – Shrek
iconic shrek quotes
  1. “That’ll do, Donkey. That’ll do.” – Shrek
best iconic shrek quotes

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More Donkey Shrek quotes to read 

  1. “[going to save Donkey] Well, I have to save my ass.” – Shrek
inspirational shrek quotes
  1. Wow! Only a TRUE friend would be that cruelly honest. – Shrek
positive shrek quotes
  1. “Thank you, thank you very much. I’m here ’til Thursday. Try the veal.” – Shrek
thank you shrek quotes
  1. “Well, that’s not very nice.” – Shrek
nice shrek quotes
  1. “All right, you’re going the right way for a smack bottom.” – Shrek
funny shrek quotes
  1. “WHY are you following me?” – Shrek
shrek quotes sayings
  1. “Well, I have a bit of a confession to make: donkey’s don’t have layers. We were our fear right there on our sleeves.” – Shrek
01 shrek quotes
  1. “You didn’t slay the dragon?” – Princess Fiona “It’s on my “to do” list. Now come on.” –  Shrek
dragon shrek quotes
  1. “We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles!” – Shrek
02 shrek quotes

Read more: 108 Keep Going Quotes To Push Through Tough Times And Not Give Up

Famous Shrek quotes to remember

  1. “I’m not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others?!” – Lord Farquaad
03 shrek quotes
  1. “So where is this fire-breathin’ pain in the neck, anyway?” – Donkey 
donkey shrek quotes
  1. “In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her.” – Shrek
04 shrek quotes
  1. “That’s right fool! Now I’m a flying talking donkey!” – Shrek
05 shrek quotes
  1. “Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.” – Shrek
06 shrek quotes
  1. “The Princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.” – Shrek
06 shrek quotes
  1. What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.” – Princess Fiona
07 shrek quotes
  1. “Parfaits may probably be the most delicious thing on the whole dang planet!” – Shrek
08 shrek quotes
  1. “Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean white sparkly teeth, I know you probably hear this all the time from your food but you must bleach or something, ’cause that’s one dazzling smile you got there and do I detect a hint of minty freshness?” – Donkey
09 shrek quotes

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Funny Shrek quotes to laugh over at

  1. “Now hand over that big rock, the one that looks like your head.” – Shrek
  1. “NO! LAYERS! Onions have layers. OGRES have layers. Onions have layers… you get it. We both have layers.” – Shrek
10 shrek quotes
  1. “Look at that. Who’d wanna live in a place like that?” – Shrek
11 shrek quotes
  1. “Okay, let me get this straight: you gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad’ll give you back your swamp, which you only don’t have ‘cos he filled it full of freaks in the first place, is that about right?” – Donkey
  2. “Yes, I know the muffin man. Who lives on Drury Lane?” – Lord Farquaad
  3. “Sure it’s big enough… but look at the location.” – Shrek
  4. “It is lovely! You know, you’re really quite a decorator.” – Shrek
  5. “Don’t mess wit’ me. I’m the Stair Master. I’ve Mastered the Stairs. I wish I had a step right here, I could step here and here and here and step all over it.” – Donkey
  6. “Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?” – Donkey

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Pinocchio shrek quotes from the movie

  1. I’m not a puppet! I’m a real boy! – Pinocchio
  2.  “C’mon, princess, you’re not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you’re only like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7.” – Donkey
  3. “I used to be afraid of the dark until… No, wait. I’m still afraid of the dark.” – Donkey
  4. “Eat me.” – Gingerbread Man
  5. “I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something ’cause that’s one dazzling smile you got there!” – Donkey
  6. “I don’t have any toes! I think I need a hug” – Donkey
  7. “What kind of a knight are you?” – Princess Fiona “One of a kind.” – Shrek
  8. “Some of you may die, but its a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” – Lord Farquaad
  9. “I ain’t gonna lie, you ARE ugly. But you only look like this at night, Shrek’s ugly 24/7.” – Donkey

Read more: 120 Quotes About Procrastination And Overcoming Laziness

Inspirational shrek quotes to think about

  1. “I just know, before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin’.” – Donkey
  2. “Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?” – Shrek
  3. “Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.” – Magic Mirror
  4. “He hooffed unt he poooffed unt he… signed an eviction notice.” – Little Pig
  5. “Y’know, me too. That’s another thing we have in common. I hate it when you’ve got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won’t leave, and then there’s that big awkward silence…” – Donkey
  6. “Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you, unless of course I can’t find you, or if I forget.” – the movie Shrek 2
  7. “For your information, there’s a lot more to ogres than people think.” – Shrek
  8. “Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.” – Captain of Guards
  9.  “Yeah, right, brimstone, don’t be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelt and it wasn’t no brimstone and it didn’t come off no stone neither.” – Donkey

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Best Shrek quotes from the movies

  1. “Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead. That’s brimstone… we must be getting close.” – Shrek
  2. “Don’t mess with me. I’m the stair master.” – Donkey
  3. And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man there were some strong gases eeking outta my butt that day.” – Donkey
  4. “Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.” – Donkey
  5. “Ogres are like onions.” – Shrek
  6.  “Wow, that was really scary and if you don’t mind me saying, if that don’t work, your breath will certainly get the job done, ’cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something ’cause your breath STINKS.” – Donkey
  7. “Wow. Let’s do that again.” – Donkey
  8. “No! I’m an ogre! You know, “Grab your torch and pitchforks!” Doesn’t that bother you?” – Shrek
  9. “Because that’s what friends do, they FORGIVE EACH OTHER.” – Donkey
  10. “Well it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.” – Shrek
  11. “Please. I don’t wanna go back there. You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak… Well, maybe you do, but that’s why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!” – Donkey
  12. “And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin’ outta my butt that day!” – Donkey
  13. “You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a super fly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly.” – Donkey
  14. “Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?” – Shrek
  15. “Donkey, two things, okay? Shut..up.” – Shrek
  16. “Hey! I’m no one’s messenger boy, all right? I’m a delivery boy.” – Shrek
  17. “Good morning. Um– how do you like your eggs?” – Princess Fiona
  18. “Well– When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there’s a– There’s an arrow in your butt!” – Princess Fiona
  19.  “I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.” – Donkey
  20. “This is the part where you run away.” – Shrek
  21. “You, uh… you don’t entertain much, do you?” – Shrek
  22.  “Can I stay with you? Please?” – Donkey
  23. “I like my privacy.” – Shrek
  24. “Oh! Oh pick me! Pick me! Me! Me! Meeee!” – Donkey
  25.  “She called me a noble steed.” – Donkey
  26. “[To Dragon] What’s the matter? You got somethin’ in your eye?” – Donkey
  27. “I bet you have never seen a donkey fly!” – Donkey
  28.  “looks at Farquaad’s very large castle) Gee, you think he’s compensating for something?” – Shrek
  29. “Bachelorette number two is Snow White. She may live with seven men but she ain’t easy.” – Princess Fiona
  30.  “You know Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear.” – Shrek
  31. “sometimes, things are more than they appear.” – Shrek
  32. “Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really something back there. Incredible!” – Donkey
  33. “Now, why don’t you go to celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? – Shrek
  34. “Uh-uh. You know, with you it’s always, “Me, me, me!” Wll, guess that! Now it’s my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You’re mean to me. You insult me and you don’t appreciate anything.” – Donkey
  35. “Oh yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?” – Shrek
  36. “Because that’s what friends do! They forgive each other!” – Donkey
  37.  Oh yeah, you’re right, Donkey. I forgive you… For stabbing me in the back!” – Shrek
  38. “oh this is another one of does onion things isn’t” – Donkey
  39. “no this is one of does drop it and leave it alone things.” – Shrek
  40. “Sure it’s big enough, but look at the location.” – Shrek
  41. “Wow, only a true friend would be that truly honest.” – Shrek
  42. You know what? Maybe there’s a good reason, donkeys shouldn’t talk.” 
  43. Things just seem bad because it’s dark and rainy and Fiona’s father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.” 
  44. Welcome to my serenity circle. Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.” 
  45. “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” – Donkey

Which of these Shrek quotes are your favorite?

Have you watched any of the Shrek films? Which of the Shrek quotes can you identify? Share with us in the comment section. You should try and watch any of the films if you haven’t and be on the lookout for any of these quotes. Currently, there are four Shrek movies and the fifth one will be released soon.