“Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by your mental attitude.” ~Dale Carnegie
People become dependent on other people for many reasons. Some carry this behavior as a pattern from their childhood and some are not self-confident. No matter what the reason is, this may be ruining their lives and the lives of people they are depending on.
However, this can change if you are willing to change.
It will take time and effort but it will work once you are ready.
Here are some tips on how to be more independent:
Get some distance from other people
One good way to stop being dependent on other people is to separate yourself from them.
Physically, give yourself some space and give those people some space. Spend some time alone and try to understand what it is that’s making you so dependent.
Put yourself out there – those things that you constantly depend on other people to do with or for you, do it alone.
Go out by yourself, go to the movies alone, have dinner alone, sit and watch TV alone and so on.
You have to realize that you don’t need other people. Sure, it’s nice to have them around but not if you start depending on them.
Be kind to yourself
You are the only person who can make yourself happy. Other people are there to support and celebrate that happiness, but it’s not their job to make you happy. This is something you will have to do for yourself.
For one, the separation from others will do you good. First you need to realize what is making you happy. Then you should do those things. Have a manicure or a day at the hairdressers or anything else that will make you happy.
Stop hating yourself for no reason – love yourself, be comfortable in your own skin. Tell yourself that you are a nice, kind person and truly believe that you deserve the best.
Give love to other people
Separation will do you a lot of good but you need to re-enter those relationships again at some point. To avoid repeating the same harmful patterns over and over again, you should pay attention to that person.
What do they like? Do they have any problems? What are those problems? Truly listen to them.
Build a better friendship by not depending on that person but rather being a friend to them.
Make decisions based on your gut feeling
Don’t lean on other people to make decisions for you. This is a bad pattern that is making you do things that you don’t want to do and you don’t need to do.
People who are dependent on others often allow those people to make even the biggest decisions for them because they believe that their opinion is better.
However, this is another behavior that you need to eliminate. Make your own decisions based on how you feel and what you think.
Learn to say no
Learning to say no to other people is essential. Dependent people often make a mistake of following everything other people ask them to do and they end up getting used.This is very harmful and it’s making you miserable.
So, make a change – say no. If you don’t feel like doing something or don’t like doing something, you should make sure that you don’t do it. Just say no. It may be hard at the beginning but you can do it.
Becoming independent is a process. Trust in yourself and trust your gut feeling. There is no need for you to depend on others when you have yourself. Hopefully, these tips will help.